Post-Psych Ward Poetry

I.

Each passing minute

is another spent without you

This confusion rings like static

across the distance between us

Awkward silence and emotion

I lay awake burning for you

These tears taste salty and real

The plastic bags of moving

surround my floor

My life is all in vain

I'm seduced by your sweet darkness

and I'm waiting for you in the shadows

watching your guiding star

as you weep in silence; seemingly alone

Don't be afraid of what's bound to happen

And I'm sorry I'm stuck this way

But know everything is beautiful and perfect

when the reality of my life is fading away

II.

My heart reaches out to you from across the distance -

I cling to the phone, but you do not answer

I swear I see death everywhere I turn

Everything is wrong, and yet,

perfect in it's eternity

I feel the urge to die, and cling to your need

a little tighter

My life is lost; worthless

I want to be washed looking in your eyes

I refuse to accept the lie in front of me

Can I change it? Can I learn to be happy?

I need your help, I feel so alone again

Hey! Don't you hear my cries of desperation from deep within?

I want to be able to feel your love.

I want to feel goodness; instead of the black tar

of shame and doubt.

Help me out of this mental cage.

III.

Bruised and broken am I;

Purple fades to yellow

the stinging pain reaches deep

I grit my teeth in anticipation

but disappointment falls upon me

like heavy rain

Tears streak down my cheeks

Nothing compares to the pain within

And somehow I like the punishment

as the blood drips from calloused skin

Twisted power coming through this marionette

If you knew the hardships I've faced,

Understand that I am gifted,

a child of the Divine must be tested,

and proven true.

IV.

The battle rages within;

an eternal struggle of light and dark -

I keep the demon at bay;

feeding it self-destruction and pain

My halo is held up by horns

and I pick at the scabs just to feel again

this numbness goes on forever

as I reach out for help from another soul

Carry me away from here Grim Reaper -

Cross the fantasy realm of your wild imagination

Are you dreaming, or traveling?

I look within for your secrets,

and search deeper for my own answers.

My heart clings to yours,

the static heat of passion

rubbing warmth back into my self.

V.

Dirty flesh, dirty mind

My hair slicked back with grime

Sunken, sad eyes

sickened by the twists of Fate